Even More 21 Reincarnations of Admiral Zhao
by VanG Ziggy ZA
Summary: A third installment of suffering for the Avatar villain, will this insanity ever end! I hope not, as I am sure neither do my fans!


_**Okay the fourteenth story! I promised I would try to put both Zhao humor pieces together, and I meant it! So without ado, here is the third batch of abuses launched at the corrupted idiot!**_

_**Zhao: That was really mean! Do I really deserve all this crap! You haven't even posted the second story, they might hate it!**_

_**Always the chance they'll like this one better then! And yes, you DESERVE everything that happens to you!**_

_**Zhao: I hate you all!**_

_**Anyway, for those of you clicking onto this story first, I suggest that you read the first story, 21 Reincarnations of Admiral Zhao, and then the second one, 21 More Reincarnations of Admiral Zhao first to really enjoy this. Of course you don't actually have to, just a suggestion. **_

_**Even More 21 Reincarnations of Admiral Zhao**_

**Reincarnation #1: A Quill Pen**

The year, 1776. The time, night time. The person, Thomas Jefferson, working over documents by candle light. Zhao would have squinted his eyes if he had any, but all he knew was that he had a head that was shaped like a mountain point. "What in the hell is going on now!"

_Congratulations! You are now a pen._

"Wait a minute, I know a pen, this doesn't look right," the villainous admiral moaned.

_A quill pen!_

"You can't be serious! I CAN'T BE A QUILL PEN! I'M ALLERGIC TO FEATHERS!"

_Could get worse you know._ The karma spirit smiled as he watched Zhao frowned and begin to wonder how the frickin' hell it could get worse.

His skin itched, his throat, what throat he had, swelled to a massive amount of size, and if he had eyes, they'd be watering. "Thib 'oun't geb worsth," he struggled to say.

It was then that Thomas Jefferson picked him up and slammed him face first into a jar of ink. Zhao struggled to get free as the jet black ooze poured down his throat, but being a pen, he hadn't much luck with that. To make matters worse, the freak who was holding him couldn't seem to write with his nose and mouth once he took him out. The future president shook him until his brains rattled out of his head, right into the jar of ink, constantly drowned him, and stroke Zhao's feathery body against his chin.

Zhao threw up, his nose ran black ink, but still Thomas was not satisfied. Ultimately the man sighed and looked at the pen. "A lot of use you are!"

"You are not supposed to be using me like this!" Zhao cried. Thomas Jefferson gasped.

"Are you a magic pen?" he asked.

"What the hell are you BABBLING ABOUT NOW! WHAT DID YOU FALL ON YOUR ASS AFTER DRINKING A GALLON OF STUPID JUICE?"

"This pen is possessed," Thomas Jefferson shouted. He rushed to the open fire and tossed the quill pen into the roaring flames. "DIE IN THE ETERNAL FLAMES OF HELL, CURSED PEN!" Behind him dozens of Puritans cheered wildly.

"Everything I heard about the Puritans said they were gone by this idiots time!" Zhao whined. Then darkness overtook him. The karma spirit just laughed.

_God I love my job!_

**Reincarnation #2: Appa's poop as he is flying.**

"Errraghggghhh, errggoooogooaaaaaa," Appa crunched his face as he flew through the air.

"Aang, what's wrong with Appa," Katara asked.

"OH MY GAAAAWWWWWDDDDDD!" Sokka screamed, "What is that horrid odor?"

"Man, I'm feeling the vibrations from here, its so big," Toph gasped. Soon the smell knocked her out completely.

"Appa, what have we told you before," Aang scolded, holding his nose. "Don't eat rotten dobong berries before you fly!"

He could hear them, but it was dark. Once again hope sprang from the eternal lost cause of being reincarnated. Zhao felt something press him further down the tunnel, possibly a mountain, and he got ready to charge.

_I wouldn't do that if I were you,_ the karma spirit scolded.

"Well then it's a good thing you're not me," Zhao hissed. With one blast of pressure, he lurched forward, the bright light meeting his eyes and blinding him temporarily. He didn't even stop to wonder whose else voice he had heard, all that mattered was the avatar was in his grasp at last.

Then he plummeted to the earth, screaming as all fifty feet in length of him closed in on terra ferma. "I'm poop again!"

_Flying poop! _The karma spirit laughed.

"I'm falling you idiot!" Zhao screamed.

_Maybe you'll land in some nice, soft Water Bison litter!_

Zhao fell on something alright. On somebody actually. On _two_ some bodies to be honest. "Make with the cabbages," a cute, kissing thief dressed in Earth Kingdom garb demanded of a poor merchant, hovering a rock over him and his cabbages. The next thing they knew they were covered with Appa poo. "Ah gross," Jojo gasped.

_Maybe for her, but I bet you liked it, landing on a cute young woman._

"Oh shut up!"

_**Reincarnation #3: The Pilot in the first episode of Lost.**_

Zhao could hear the scrapings of something above him. He frowned and looked at his uniform, a pilot's clothes. "I've always wanted to fly, but not in a machine like this!"

The plane was broken in half, it seemed to have crashed, and Zhao was laying with his face covered in blood. "You alright?" a voice asked from behind. Zhao turned to see a battered and bruised man, and a femme fetale, who were looking at him. "My name is Jack, I'm a doctor, do you remember anything?"

"I remember falling from the sky and landing on a thief as a piece of poop from a flying bison," Zhao said wearily.

"He's delirious," Jack said turning to the woman.

"Clearly," Kate said with a nod.

The scraping was even more intense, as they searched for anymore survivors, and then, Zhao would not continue his curiosity any more. After they heard a beastial roar, Zhao stuck his head out of the plane, and felt something with massive strength grasp his body and heave him out, before the others could do anything to stop it. Soon his body was crushed and his blood oozed onto the window of his plane.

_**Reincarnation #4: Waterbending scroll**_

Zhao was older than the dirt. Well, he wasn't that old. Born from a tree, chopped down, and painted on with a delicate paint, detailing numerous complicated moves for water bending. Powerful, full of wisdom. Tough he was not fire, he could still teach it. Perhaps he could control it, and control those who used him.

Years passed, decades, centuries. Final pirates, the very ones he had paid for the execution of Prince Zuko, stole him from the village he'd been living there for centuries. Town to town, he'd been offered, but it was that damn girl who stole him back. Ultimately he ended up in the hands of the prince, who threatened to burn him, to the ghast of the pirates and the girl.

"That stupid idiot!" Zhao cried.

A fight happened, and eventually he was back in the hands of the girl and the avatar. For months they practiced with him, learning his secrets, and finally as they defeated the Fire Lord.

Years passed, and Zhao realized he couldn't control the Avatar. The boy soon traded him to Iroh, upon who after losing toilet paper used Zhao, and flushed him down the toilet.

"Oh come on! I end up in another poop life!" Zhao cried.

_**Reincarnation #5: Momo's Peach. **_

"What are you going to call him?" Katara asked.

The lemuer jumped off of Aang's shoulder, leapt at Sokka and reached for Zhao.

"Wait a moment, what's going on?" the admiral asked. "Why is this water peasant holding me in his hands? And why is that damn animal staring lustily at me!"

_Want to know why Momo's name is Momo?_ The karma spirit chuckled.

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Zhao cried as the lemuer took a massive bite out of Zhao.

"Momo!" Aang said happily.

_**Reincarnation #6: Prince Zuko's hair.**_

"Well at least I'm some what handsome," Zhao said, wishing he was not on the boy's head. "I suppose this isn't so bad." He lived through the boy's many adventures, some happy, others not so much, as when his mother, Ursa left, never to be seen again, or his father's acceptance of the boy's Agni Kai, unbeknownst to the child.

Zhao chuckled at the constantly thwarted plans of Zuko in trying to catch the avatar, and actually scowled as the prince had caught him at the north pole, but justified himself as the boy lost his catch for the very last time. He even witnessed his own death at the hands of the water spirit, rather than accept help from a traitor. _Honor before aide,_ he thought.

Finally Azula caught up with them, and nearly caught her prey, and would have if not for the idiot Captain Shu's remark. Zhao had never liked Shu before, saw him as a fool who only got lucky in his promotions, and this incident only proved what he thought of Shu was accurate. Zuko and Iroh rushed off into the distance, leaving the girl all wet and frustrated. Zhao fumed.

"Both children are fools at this game," he scowled. Perhaps that meant that Ozai too was a fool? After all, he had searched in vein for the avatar, at the request of Azulon, and came home in disgrace, perhaps even more so, than Iroh did after his son died at Ba Sing Se.

_Well you were making headway until that little outburst,_ the karma spirit sighed.

"What are you talking about, you damn fool!" Zhao grumbled at his one and only conscious companion.

Zuko looked at his uncle, and at the river before them. Sadness and fatigue filled his body, and made their way into his eyes. There would be no going home now, even if he had the avatar. His family had turned against him. He picked up Zhao with one hand, and brought out a blade.

"Wait a moment, what is he …," Zhao began to say. He was cut off as the blade sliced through him, an Zuko tossed Zhao into the river, to float endlessly. Or he would have, had a large smirking green fish appeared out of no where, and gulped Zhao down in a single bite. "OH COME ONNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!"

_**Reincarnation #7: Iroh's hair.**_

"Why does this look familiar?" Zhao said, his eyes awakening to the darkness. He frowned and then realized he was again a good patch of hair. "Oh now really is this necessary?"

It took a while, but he realized it was Iroh's head he belonged on. Years passed, and he watched Iroh turn into a mischievous young boy, to a skinny young flirty, to a middle aged, larger gutted flirt, to the man who was now standing to look at his young nephew. He watched Zuko cut his hair off, and toss it into the river. "Wait a moment," Zhao said, as the boy handed over the blade. "HEY COME ON, IS THIS REALLY FAIR?"

Iroh tossed his braid into the river, and Zhao feared he would be swallowed by the same damn fish as he was in his last life, but fate had determined a slightly different path for him. The green fish appeared, hacking and frowning, and tossed a chunk of brown hair at Zhao, the two lives tangling together until they both crashed down, down to the bottom of a water fall.

_Gee, that was unexpected._

"I hate my life," Zhao said, wheezing.

_Don't you mean you have your **lives**?_ the karma spirit howled with laughter.

"I need a publicist, or at least a good lawyer," Zhao moaned, before the lights went out yet again.

_**Reincarnation #8: A soccer ball**_

This life was made in a factory, where Zhao and dozens of other of his "brothers and sisters" were bent, pressed, and firmly shaped into a round orb. "Oh perfect, now what are you trying to do with me?" he cried.

_Just having some fun!_

"Fun for who?" He could see himself being put on a rack. "Great, I'm a black and white ball!"

_Ebony and Ivory go together in perfect harmony! _The spirit sang out of tune.

"Well I'll say one thing," Zhao grumbled, "You can't be Iroh, as horrible as he sings, he at least has a better voice than you."

_Well now you've hurt my feelings. Anyway here comes your new owner._

A young pink tigress walked up, picked up Zhao and glared at him. "Well, I must say this will do for now," she grumbled.

"NEYLA!" Zhao cried. "Of for crying out LOUD! I'm I forever going to be connected to that nut job?"

"Nut job?" Neyla repeated, looking at the ball. "I had no idea they made talking footballs, but I will say, its going to be interesting to see how you deal with what I have in store for you." She shuddered. _Why does this thing have an aura of a pervert anyway?_

She took him home and began her work out with him, "Take this, and that!" she snarled, kicking Zhao into the picture of Sly Cooper and his friends.

"Oh now is this really necessary?" Zhao groaned, his body sore as he constantly hit Sly where the sun don't shine. "I mean, lady you have issues."

"ISSUES?" Neyla howled in anger. "I'LL SHOW YOU BLOODY FUCKING ISSUES, YOU MISERABLE BALL!" The villainous pounded on the ball over and over, her rage growing as Zhao cried and howled in pain. "Who has issues now?" she asked, kicking Zhao into a parking lot, and pounced on top of him, pummeling him with her fists. "Who the hell do you think you ARE, TO REJECT ME SLY COOPER!"

"SLY COOPER! I'M, NOT SOME LAME THEIVING RACOON! I'M ADMIRAL ZHAO!" the villain hissed.

The tigress stopped her assault, and frowned. "Now I say, why does that name seem so familiar?"

"It should, I've been reincarnated to meet you enough times," Zhao groaned.

_You might not have wanted to bring that up, dude,_ the spirit laughed.

"And since when do you call me dude? What you some stinky surfer punk who couldn't even get a date if he covered himself in mud and made himself out as big foot of the beach?" Zhao howled in anger. This was stupid, why was he constantly being brought before this tigress? What did he, do to deserve her?

"Why do I have a feeling that we've been married at one time?" Neyla asked.

"Because we were," Zhao cried. "And it was the worst thing I ever had to live through."

"Wait, I remember you now! YOU FLIPPING PERVERT!" she cried, beating the holy shit out of Zhao. Before she was done, he lay in pieces, from one end of the park to the next. "That's for what you did to me, you little snot. Taking over my body and showering and such." She turned and walked away.

"Excuse me miss, but what in the world were you doing to that ball?" a man came up and asked her.

"None of your flipping business," Neyla snapped. "I just took care of an idiot, that was all."

"An idiot? The ball is an idiot?" the man asked with a raised eyebrow.

"Of course it was," she snarled. "It was the reincarnation of a foolish admiral of some kind of fire navy of some kind or other."

"An admiral was reincarnated into a soccer ball?" he asked, inching toward her. "How do you know this?"

"He told me, what's it to you?" Neyla snapped, cocking her head.

"The ball talked to you?" the man sighed, and snatched her arm, plunging a needle into her arm. "Okay boys, take her back to the happy farm!"

_Told you, that you shouldn't have brought up who you were. Not only did she kill you, but you made that poor woman get sent to the lunnie bin._

"Will you shut UP ALREADY!"

_**Reincarnation #9: Jar Jar Bink's torch in Star Wars: Survivor Style.**_

Jeff picked up the fifth piece of paper from the jar and looked at it. "And in a unanimous vote, the first person voted off Survivor Mustafar, Jar Jar Binks!" He picked up a piece of paper, and called the shocked Gungan goof ball over to him. "Jar Jar, the tribe has spoken. It's time to go."

Jar Jar glared confused and took Zhao from his perch. "What is going on? And who is this idiot whose holding me now?" Zhao snarled.

Jeff looked at Jar Jar and sighed, taking the snuffer and placing it over Zhao. "AAAAAAAHHHHHHH, HE'S TRYING TO SMOOTHER ME!"

Jar Jar walked to the camera and shook his head. "Mesa no understandsa! I thinks I was doin a good jobba! Okay, so's I's tripped over Annie's tent, and everyone saws him with Padme?" He stopped and thought. "Oh yeahsa, and mesa also tripped and fell into the puzzla and smashed it flat!" He chuckled. "But you've gotsa admit, that wasa pretty funny!"

"Jar Jar, it was a puzzle that your tribe was trying to put together to stay away from the eviction ceremony," the camera man said.

Jar Jar paled. "Oh, mesa no knew that! Chancellor Palpatine tolda me that it was what Ms. Padme would have wanta," he said waving his arms about, unknowing that Palpatine was on the other tribe. As he batted his arms about, he loosed his grip on bags, and they soared through the air, knocking down a gasping Zhao off of his perch, and down into the flames.

"That clumsy idiot!" he cried. He thought that was it, but for the next five hundred years in Star Wars limbo, he was joined by Jar Jar Binks.

"Sosa yousa likes cheesea! Yeah, I'sa loves dat cheesa! Including montera jacksa with a little gooba jumba…"

_Slowlysa insa thosea fivea hundreda yearsa Zhaosa losta hisa mindsa!_

"Will you please knock it OFFFFFFFF!" Zhao screamed at the top of his lungs. The spirit only laughed its ass off for hours on end.

_**Reincarnation #10: An employee of Lex Luthor **_

Lex looked at Zhao and waved him over. Zhao had a somewhat normal life this time around. True he was dirt poor, but nothing bad really happened to him. At the age of 18 he was hired to work for LuthorCorp, and then later, LexCorp. He was around in his forties at this time when his employer finally took note of him.

"You've been working well for us for a long time, haven't you Smith?" Lex said.

"It's Zhao sir, and yes I have," the admiral said, looking at the young late twenty something. He couldn't but help make a disinction between Lex and Ozai, both were ruthless, and stepped on people who got in the way of what they wanted.

"Well, Smith, would you like a promotion?"

"Its Zhao sir, and I'd LOVE ONE!" Finally he would move up the ladder yet again! Finally a chance to grab onto some power!

"Good, a recent employee of mine took a little … vacation. Anyway I need someone to take his place." He smiled. "Interested?" Zhao nodded. "Good, then follow me." The two men walked toward a secret room, and Lex took his seat and waved him over.

"What do you want me to do?" Zhao asked.

Lex pointed to a towel on the table. "Bring it here," he snapped.

Zhao turned face him. "Exactly what do you want me to do?"

"You're job is to follow commands, and mine is to issue them, is that a problem?" Lex snapped, there was a edge to his voice. Zhao shook his head, he had heard the same kind of edge in Ozai's voice numerous times, as well as those similar words.

He brought the towel and walked over to the chair as Lex Luthor leaned back. "Now buff me," he ordered.

"Buff you sir?" Zhao asked, his chest burning.

"Is that too hard to understand?" Lex barked. "Take the towel and buff my head. I have a function I need to go to and I want look my best."

Zhao blinked, his eyes blurring. This was his promotion? To make some rich young kid's bald head shiny? This wasn't fair!

_Play your cards right, and you might end up with the highest promotion, a shoe shiner! _

_**Reincarnation #11: A bird about to eaten**_

He was brought down with a crack of a whip, down he fell, freedom taken away. Zhao shook his head and blinked, before he realized someone was hovering over him. "Oh shit," he growled. A hungry, starved Neyla looked down at him.

"Sorry, end of the road." She picked him up and tore into him, swallowing him whole. Unfortunately she swallowed when she should have chewed, and dropped dead.

"Oh that's just perfect," Zhao said as soon as he was back in limbo.

_**Reincarnation #12: Suntan lotion.**_

This life was no longer than his last one. Wu bought him, and brought him to the beach. An old man looked up and smiled.

"Wu, would you place do the honors," he chuckled. He was old, wrinkled, and hairy. "But wait a second please!" Iroh stood up, removed his clothes and laid back down. "Okay!"

"OHHHH MYYYYYYY GAAWWWWWWWWDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD!" Zhao screamed. He was being poured all over Iroh's hairy body, gritting his teeth as Wu brushed and massaged him deep into the smelly, old body, into the dimpled bottom of his old enemy. "This is cruel and unusual punishment!"

_No, that would be getting television in prison and only getting basic._

"Haven't I seen enough of this idiot's fanny?" Zhao asked.

_I actually think the old man is pretty cool, and definitely not an idiot. Besides it could be worse, he could be laying on his back. I could arrange that if you'd like._

"I'm good," Zhao said, trying not to gag.

**_Reincarnation #13: A supermodel being hit on by a Naughty Ottsel_**

"Hey baby, you're looking fine! What do you say you come over to my place and you can scratch me behind my … ears."

Again he was a woman, but a successful, powerful woman. Though he couldn't figure out why he had the figure of a stick. "How about not?"

"I could always rub some tanning oil on you," Daxter suggestion. _Tess loves it when I do that, but I can never get lower than her hips, she's just too ticklish. _He bit his lips hoping his on again, off again girlfriend was no where around.

Zhao snarled at the thought of any body cream. "No thanks."

"Oh come on," Daxter, "It'll be fun."

"I said no," he hissed. "I am the great Admiral Zhao, I'm male, and I don't like body cream."

Daxter's tail dropped his jaw half off his upper mouth. "Amanda Twine, the richest, and sexiest woman in the world is man!" Daxter couldn't see straight. He rushed off and vomited. And as for Zhao, his career was over, and he ended up broke and alone. Well, almost alone. Daxter got over his initial revulsion, as it was still a hot female body Zhao had, and constantly sent flowers and chocolates. Zhao tried to choke the ottsel at one point, but that resulted in his "big buddy" coming over and unleashing ten tons of missiles at his house. Zhao's new life was over.

"This was the stupidest life yet!" Zhao growled.

_You did have some power._

"Oh yes, I could have seduced dozens of orange hairy freaks to overthrow the world."

_Exactly, It's incredible that ottsel percentage of your fan base. But oh well, you nearly had a nice life._

_**Reincarnation #14: Evil Parking Lot**_

_This one is unique,_ the karma spirit chuckled.

Zhao was gray and gravelly. Cars pulled on to him and made his skin itch incredibly. Brats dropped candy on him, bums pissed on him, and slept on him, and yards away was a super mall. "This is so stupid," Zhao groaned. "It's boring as well, but I suppose nothing could possibly go wrong with this life."

_Is that you beginning to own up to your actions?_

"Oh bite me, I never did evil to warrant like this." When he had enough energy, he caused accidents, people lost their limbs, a few of them lost their lives, and he was considered cursed.

Then Zuko drove up in a Ferrari and parked over Zhao's face. "What in the world is _he_ doing here? And what is he doing driving a car! We don't have cars in our world!"

"Oh my god, my car!" Zuko screeched as a young girl slammed into it, over and over, and over and then jumped out, clamping her arms around the boy's neck. "Get off of me," he screamed, trying to peeling the hysterically laughing girl from his body.

"Well this is getting good," Zhao chuckled.

_It's getting better._

"Oh shut up," Zhao said. "I want to see how this plays out. Whose the girl anyway? That Song girl?"

_If it were Song, she'd be clinging to his legs, not his neck. This is a girl whose from the Avatar fan fics at who has a major crush on Zuko._

It turned out to be more than just a major thing. It was an extremely major thing. The girl nearly broke his neck, she and he went to court, and Zhao, well his reputation as being a cursed piece of land was justified, and he was torn down.

_**Reincarnation #15: A rodeo clown**_

"Ladies and gentlemen! Introducing, Bonky the Clown!" the announcer said.

Zhao had been born dirt poor again, and worked his way up until he left home for the rodeo. He cleaned up the animals, watched the brats spill their food, but he stayed silent, his wrath growing. Finally one day, the rodeo clown was injured, and he was told to take his place.

Zhao smiled smugly. He'd wrangled, Kamodo Rhinos in the wild, what could be more dangerous than that? The announcer gave the people a second to calm down and then announced Lucifer and Sugar Bell, the pride and joy of the rodeo, right before releasing the rampaging, steroid injected, demon beasts at Zhao, aka Bonky the Clown. "Wait a moment, those aren't bulls!"

_No, they're cave lions, lucky you! _the karma spirit chuckled. _You get to be the first rodeo clown in ancient Rome!_

"Ancient Rome!" The lions charged, and Zhao's body was flung up, down, east, west, and sideways. "Wait, my underwear down go THERE!"

_You're in ancient ROME. You're not wearing underwear._

"Then what!" Zhao's eyes bugged out. He looked down and saw that his innards were being pulled up his butt crack. The crowd laughed their asses off and applauded. "How stupid can this be!" This was the end of this life.

_**Reincarnation #16: Water from Triple H's mouth**_

He came from the finest valley, from the purest water in France. Zhao beamed with pride. And then a dirty blonde muscle bound man appeared on stage, poured Zhao into his mouth, and looked up to the heavens. With a burst of throatal strength, Triple H spat Zhao out and walked away, shaking his head.

"That stuff tastes like old man," Triple H groaned.

"Oh now come on," Zhao groaned. "Was that really necessary?"

_**Reincarnation #17: A duck**_

"So I'm a bird again," Zhao said. "I suppose Neyla is going to come by, hit me with her whip and choke on me again?"

He was close. A rock arched up and struck him down, where he was then sold to a thin young woman, who took him home. "Song, tell our guests that I have the duck, its just a matter of chopping his head off and serving him."

"Oh perfect," Zhao groaned. "I suppose …"

"Madame," Iroh said walking up. "I've had some hand in this, I'll do it for you!" His white hair flowed over his shoulders, and Zhao could tell it was just about a few weeks since he had cut out his braid."

"Oh perfect, I hope you choke on me, you old fart, and the brat too!" With a mighty whack, Zhao was dead.

_**Reincarnation #18: Iroh's pillow**_

Iroh tossed and turned, smacked Zhao, and grunted. "Honey, this thing is the most uncomfortable thing I've ever … oh that's right, she's off to her village for the weekend."

Zhao was having a heart attack. Iroh had bought him just last week, two days after his "duck's" feathers had been stripped and made into him, and for the last week he'd been drooled on, snuggled with, and was face to face with the old man.

Hours passed, and then even more hours, before long Iroh was fast asleep. Zhao only had a few moments of peace, before Iroh tried something he'd never done before. "Baby, you are smooth tonight," he said in his sleep, stroking Zhao softly.

"Oh come on now," Zhao began. "HEY WHAT THE HELL IS HE DOING?"

"Wu, you are the best wife I've ever had!" He said, kissing Zhao's cheeks. "You're food is wonderful, you smell like you just got out of the bath, and you're the best wife I've ever had!"

"I think I'm going to barf," Zhao grumbled as Iroh's sleeping hands moved up and down the pillow.

_I think we aught to hurry this up a little, so no young eyes see something they should not._

The scene went on to fast forward, for hours, until Iroh seemed to realize what he was doing. "You stupid pillow," he snapped. "I can't let Wu see this." He took Zhao and threw him into the garbage.

_**Reincarnation #19: Ronald Mc Donald**_

"I'm a clown again!" Zhao roared. He was being swarmed by laughing children.

"I love you Ronald," a little girl giggled.

"You're the best!" a boy said.

"Ronald, can we see you for a moment," a suit asked.

Zhao sighed and followed him into a room. "What do you want now?" he snapped.

"Mc Donald's is reconsidering a new look," the man said. "People have grown up with the clown, and we feel that maybe the clown should grow up too."

"And!" he asked.

"So we want you to wear this costume!" the manager said. He picked up a gigolo uniform in bright yellow and a pimping red hat to go with it. "What do you think?"

_Mc Donald's IS GROWING UP! _The karma spirit was frowning, though Zhao could not see him. _What's next, a free subscription to the Playboy Channel in every happy meal?_

_That would definitely make a lot of men, **happy**! _"Listen, I don't think this is a good idea."

"Hmmmmm. You're right, you'd never fit in this. Oh well, guess we'll have to let you go."

"You're firing me?"

"Of course not," the manager chuckled. He pushed a button and Zhao was flung far into space. "We fight this is much less messy."

The manager continued with his way, but the campaign was met with a major protest and let down. He was hit by a car and was used by the karma spirit as Zhao had been before him.

_**Reincarnation #20: A hand grendade**_

It was World War II. Firework was everywhere as American soldiers huddled over a bunker. "This is getting us no where!" one of them cried. "Use the grenade!"

"What's a grenade?" Zhao asked.

_You are._

One of the soldiers picked up Zhao, yanked his arm off, squeezed his right arm, and then tossed him at the enemy soldiers. "For cripes sakes!" Zhao exploded and took out a dozen Nazi soldiers in the process.

_**Reincarnation #21: His own mother!**_

Zhao grunted in pain as doctors and medical personal looked at him. "Push Xivu, push!"

"Oh my god what is happening?" He cried. He felt as if a melon was being crapped out, it was coming out the wrong end. "Who did this time me?" His stomach bulged and he sweat uncontrollably. "What the hell?"

"You're pregnant Xivu," the doctor told him calmly. "You're giving birth."

_Xivu? That was my mother's name! _Zhao's eyes grew wide! "I'M GIVING BIRTH TO MY SELF!"

"She's delusional, bring in the medical herbs." the doctor told a nurse.

Fifteen hours later, a head the size of a basketball popped through. Twenty hours the rest of baby Zhao pushed through, and all the adult, reincarnated Zhao could do, drugged up was smile pretty and talk about the cute pink ponies.

"What do you want to name him miss?" a nurse asked.

"Puffy gums," Zhao said, now truly delusional. He was so out of it, he had missed the moment that he had hated the most, and the incident that gave him his worst childhood trauma. Why the hell had his mother named him that?

_No wonder you were so mentally wacked in the military service. Oh well, see you later Puffy Gums!_

"My name is Zhao," the villain snarled, dying at the age of forty six, when his younger body was twelve. "ZHAOOOOOOOO!"

_Whatever you say … PUFFY GUMS!_

_**And so ends another story that mocks Zhao! Has he suffered enough, or should there be a forth installment? If there is enough votes for more, it will be called Yes Even More 21 Reincarnations of Admiral Zhao. Don't look for it until late summer, late Fall though, this was tiring to write. I'll also need some ideas if you want to give them. I hoped you all liked reading this, cus I had fun writing it. Okay see ya all later. **_


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